


The one where Bucky thinks he might be Bi

by chicklette



Series: Popcorn Bucket [13]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bisexual Steve Rogers, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Tumblr ficlet, Who are they kidding?, best friends having sex, questioning bucky barnes, sex as a favor, they're in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 12:13:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16764928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chicklette/pseuds/chicklette
Summary: Bucky’s decided that he’s definitely bi, and definitely wants to have sex with a man.  Cue an awkward conversation with one BFF, Steve Rogers.





	The one where Bucky thinks he might be Bi

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this an age ago, and went to reread it and realized I never put it here. So, here.
> 
> [I got inspired by this post.](http://jhoomwrites.tumblr.com/post/175047176007/jhoomwrites-dean-whos-just-come-out-confessing) Definitely rated E, mentions of het:

“So, how’d it go?” Steve asks, and immediately cringes. He doesn’t know why he’s like this. He doesn’t know why he wants the details about Bucky’s night with that guy. He doesn’t know why he needs the details of Bucky’s first time with a man. He only knows that it’s been driving him crazy all day – the idea that Buck’s just going to – just….

He just needs to know, okay?

Steve busies himself with grabbing a couple of cold beers from the fridge while he waits for Bucky’s response. When he doesn’t have one by the time he returns to the living room with the bottles, he cocks his head at his friend.

“That bad, or that good?”

Shrugging, Bucky reaches for one of the bottles. “That…weird…I guess?”

Considering the many nuances of anal sex, Steve is forced to give a nod and shrug in reply. It’s different from women, that’s for sure.

“Weird how?” he asks. God, why is he like this?

“Just…” and here Bucky shrugs again. “I don’t know. We didn’t actually…it kind of hurt and I couldn’t relax, so, we kind of gave up.”

That makes Steve’s blood run cold. “If you prep right, it shouldn’t be uncomfortable. Did he hurt you?” Steve can already imagine his hands around this guy’s neck, even though now that he has some brawn to back up his temper, he has to be a lot more careful than when he was just some skinny punk.

“Steve, no! Calm down, Jesus. Not like that. It just…wasn’t that great.” He finishes with a shrug, and okay, it’s probably weird that they’re talking about this, but at the same time, it’s not that weird. It’s not weirder than when Steve finally got his hand inside Jenny Morgan’s underwear at Eric Johnson’s party. Steve and Bucky had discussed it at length. Same as when Bucky lost his virginity, then Steve, then when Steve came out as bi and Bucky was curious about what was different.

They’ve always had frank discussions about sex. About everything.

So when Bucky admitted to having some feelings of his own about men, they talked. And they talked and they talked, and Steve tried to tell him exactly what to expect. He’s just protective is all. Bucky’s his best friend, and Steve just wants the best for him.

“So was the experiment a bust?”

“Fuck you,” Bucky laughs, flicking Steve on the shoulder. Steve’s been teasing, calling this Bucky’s experimental phase for months now.

“Well if you want to try again, I know a guy,” Steve says, and then blinks as his brain catches up to his mouth.

“Shit,” Bucky says. “You couldn’t handle me.”

“Pfft,” is Steve’s response because what what what?

They’re quiet for a moment and then Bucky clears his throat. “Thing is, uhm…”

“What?”

“It’s – nothing. Never mind.”

“Well you gotta tell me now,” Steve says, falling into the familiar back and forth of their teasing.

“Forget it,” Bucky says, and there’s something in his tone, something that’s asking a question and Steve knows Bucky needs him to press, but he’s still not sure what it’s about.

“Buck,” Steve says. “Come on. Don’t make me sick Becca on you.”

“It’s just. Oh, Jesus. It’s just – I wanted it to be good, you know?”

Steve shrugs. “Maybe you’re a top?”

“Uh, definitely not,” Bucky laughs and shakes his head. A lock of hair comes out from his messy bun and falls across his face. Steve moves to tuck it behind his ear, something he’s done a thousand times, but this time it feels loaded, like some kind of emotion is swimming just below the surface.

“Just wait for the right guy, Buck.” Steve’s not sure where all this is coming from. He wants Bucky to be happy, and Buck’s never been much of a one night stand guy. “And you’re not gonna find him on Grindr.”

Rolling his eyes, Bucky says, “I know. That was dumb.” 

They’re both quiet then, watching the baseball game on T.V. and drinking their beers. At the top of the third, Bucky gets up to grab a couple of cold beers.

When Steve says thanks, it hangs in the air, and he realizes how stilted the quiet has become.

Raising his eyebrows, he asks the silent question, and Bucky looks away, then sits.

Breathing deep, Bucky turns to look at Steve. “Thing is, I was kind of hoping maybe you would, uhm, show me?”

Steve stares. Surprise is not a big enough word to capture what just happened, but still, he pulls himself together quickly, because Bucky’s turning pink and then red, and Bucky never blushes. Bucky being shy or embarrassed goes against the natural order of the world as Steve knows it.

“You know what, forget it,” Bucky says. “It’ll be too weird.” Because they’re close - they’re so close. But they’re not that close.

“No,” Steve says. “No, of course. That’s – I mean, uhm, it’s a good idea. It makes…sense? It makes sense,” he says, nodding. “Just…now? I mean, I probably should shower. Unless – do you want to? I mean, shower. Or we can wait, uhm….”

Christ he’s bungling this. It’s not that he doesn’t want to – but it’s also not that he does. He just – god, he just wants Bucky to be happy, to get what he needs, and this is something Steve can do. Hell, this is something that Steve is good at.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky says. “I shouldn’t have…”

“Buck, no. This is – this is going to be fine.” And as he says it, he finds he means it. He reaches over and takes Bucky’s hand in his. “You’re my best friend, Buck,” he says, and gives Bucky’s hand a squeeze.

“We can never tell Becca,” Bucky says, because she’s been trying to make the two of them kiss since she was five. There’s hardly a Barnes family gathering that doesn’t come with some sort of ribbing from Becca around when the two of them are going to pull their heads out of their asses and realize they were made for each other.

“God, no,” Steve answers. He loves Bucky, but they’re not like that.

Bucky laughs, and that easy, they’re comfortable with each other again.

Steve leaves Bucky to go shower, and when he comes out, Bucky goes in. Steve wavers over whether or not to put clothes on, and finally decides on a pair of sleep pants, just in case at some point Bucky decides to change his mind.

Bucky doesn’t seem to have that concern though, walking into Steve’s bedroom with a towel around his waist and his long hair falling down around his shoulders. It highlights the sharpness of his cheekbones, and the scruff along his jaw. He looks good. Steve’s always known Bucky is attractive, but it’s never been more than factual information: The earth rotates around the sun, kale is disgusting, Bucky Barnes is hot.

“Last chance,” Bucky says, walking around to his side of the bed. And it’s not weird that Bucky has a side of the bed. He’s been sleeping over at Steve’s since they were kids – of course he’s going to have his own side of the bed, so shut up, Natasha.

Steve lays down on the bed, and Bucky follows. They turn and face one another, both of them nervous and showing it.

“You don’t have to,” Bucky says, blinking.

“Shut up,” Steve says. “Come here.”

As Bucky slides into his arms, everything feels familiar, but not. He’s not uncomfortable, not like he probably should be, but he’s not excited either. Mostly he just really wants this to go well for Bucky.

“Will it be weird if we kiss?” Steve asks. 

Drawing back, Bucky cocks and eyebrow at Steve. “Yeah, the kissing’s what’s gonna make it weird.”

“Fuck off,” Steve says, and then leans in for a kiss, going soft and slow and easy. 

Huh. Buck’s a really good kisser. Who knew?

Steve starts to relax a little and Bucky starts to let go. It starts out soft and gentle, but it isn’t long before Steve is leaving teasing little nips along Bucky’s throat, and Bucky’s holding Steve’s head there, right where he likes it.

By the time they’re breathing hard and grinding up against each other, Bucky’s making this soft little whimper in the back of his throat, and Steve is ready to dedicate a substantial portion of his life to finding out exactly what it will take to get Bucky to make that sound again, and again, and again.

“Buck, can I…?”

“Jesus, yes.”

“Would you –“

“Here?”

“Oh, like that, yes.”

At one point, they’re moving together, Steve going slow and so careful. He looks down and Bucky and catches his breath because he’s – Jesus god – he’s beautiful. Bucky blinks up at him and Steve moves to kiss him, the two of them in perfect sync. (When Bucky’d tried to get on his hands and knees, Steve about had an aneurysm. No wonder it went so shitty with the last guy. Who has their first-time doggy-style? Jesus.)

It’s sweet and gentle until it’s not, until it can’t be, and when Bucky’s face breaks into bliss, when his entire body trembles and then clamps down on Steve, hot, and tight, and brilliant, and he sobs out Steve’s name, it’s – it’s–

Steve realizes he has never been more in love, not with anyone, ever. Never could be.

So he says it. He says “Ah, Christ, I love you, Buck.” and then he falls over the edge, and when he can open his eyes again, he looks down. Bucky’s grinning up at him, something cocky and sweet and very satisfied on his face. It makes Steve kind of want to fuck the look right off his face.

“So that,” Bucky says.

“Yeah,” Steve answers. He pulls away, gets rid of the condom, and brings back a damp washcloth for Bucky.

Bucky takes it, a soft, dazed sort of smile on his face.

Steve puts on his sleep pants and sits down on the edge of the bed. Bucky tosses the washcloth in the direction of the hamper and rolls toward Steve. 

Looking down at his best friend, Steve takes in Bucky’s long, lithe limbs and the tumble of his dark hair around his shoulders, the way it curls up at the ends.

“I’m giving you a take-back,” Bucky says, and that’s just like him, willing to drag anything that might come between them out into the light, so that they can face it head on. “For all I know, you say that to all the fellas.” He’s still got that soft, dazed grin and Steve’s heart seizes hard in his chest.

Then Bucky reaches out and runs a finger over Steve’s hand, soft and intimate. “But…I hope you won’t.” Then he leans up, drops a kiss on Steve’s shoulder, just as easy and can be, and rolls over and gets up to find a pair of sweats in one of Steve’s drawers.

“Buck,” Steve says, and he doesn’t know what to say next.

“C’mon, Stevie,” Bucky says. “We’ve both had enough sex to know that that? Was not just sex.”

“No, it’s - you’re right.”

“So what’re we gonna do about it?” Bucky asks, and Steve’s overwhelmed with love for him all over again, because this is - this is his Bucky. His best guy, since he was six years old. Through the ups and downs - new schools, first girlfriends, Steve’s mom getting sick, and then getting well, Bucky’s dad’s business failing, high school and college and first jobs and grad school - no matter what, Bucky’s been by his side. Always will be, by his side.

“C’mere,” Steve says and when Bucky comes close, Steve grabs him and pulls him down onto his lap.

He looks up under the cascade of Bucky’s hair, strokes a hand across Bucky’s cheek. His weight rests easy in Steve’s lap, like he was made to be there, and maybe he was.

“I didn’t know that I wanted this,” Steve says. It feels like it’s too easy, and maybe it is. Maybe they’ll discover something awful, some incompatibility that will push them all the way apart.

But he doesn’t think so. 

He thinks that maybe this is why he couldn’t make it work with Sharon, as hard as they’d tried. Maybe this is the reason that both of them are still single, and neither has been particularly fussed about finding a partner long term.

Leaning up, Steve brushes his mouth against Bucky’s and Bucky sighs against his lips. 

Steve isn’t consumed with butterflies, that nervousness that comes with first kisses and new relationships, but, he is excited. Because when he tries to picture the future in his mind’s eye, it’s effortless. They seam together perfectly, and he knows - he knows - they always will.

“Oh god,” Steve says, an intrusive thought breaking the moment and he breaks the kiss with a laugh. “Your sister.”

“Fuck,” Bucky says. “She’ll be insufferable.”

“She already is.”

“Don’t care,” Bucky says, pushing Steve back down onto the mattress, then laying over him and coming in for a kiss. “This is worth it.”

As Steve brings his arms around Bucky, he knows that what Bucky’s said is right: it’s worth it. They’re worth it. It’s a brave new world, Steve thinks, and he’s never felt more at home.


End file.
